die, adjust or migrate

Christmas Day Thoughts

Today... 
calm. peaceful. way better than I expected. filled with surprises and, surprisingly, few tears. a gift from the grave (thanks always to you dad). homemade cranberry sauce. dark meat from the turkey. hugs from my nieces. gifts that everyone liked. playing Christmas records - real vinyl ones! the most beautiful skirt from my hubby (he got it here). laughter. enjoyment. coffee with baileys. "refrigerator" ice cream pie. italian coffee makers. my daughter spending time with me. the least stressful family Christmas in a long time. stuffing with gravy the way dad used to make it. my sister cooking - so glad i don't have to do that! watching funny tv shows. being together. using the placemats i made for mum on the table at dinner. cream cheese and red pepper jelly on rice crackers. quiet. nice red wine. losing pachisi to my daughter and nieces (quite happily). coming home. and finally, bed.

Friday Fifteen Two Days Late

 
What to write about today? My brain is really dead right now but I am so glad that it is now the start of our two week vacation for the Winter Break. So, I am thinking I will write about 15 things that I want to do over the next two weeks. So, here goes:

1. sleep

2. paint

3. sew

4. spend time with my husband

5. work on my memory book

6. not think about work

7. bake my mother's christmas cookies

8. read

9. declutter my studio

10. scan my family photos

11. use my Starbucks gift card

12. write some letters

13. work in my junk mail journal

14. make a big batch of chili and freeze it

15. take some time with my daughter

 It may not sound like I plan to rest very much but, believe it or not, I find all the creative things I do in my studio to be very restful. That and reading are two of my most restful and peaceful activities. I know that this first Christmas without my Dad will be very different in many ways and that it might be incredibly difficult at times. I am going to remember to be kind to myself. To give myself time for those activities that give me joy and peace.
 

Fifteen Things I Am Looking Forward To...

 
 Winter break is just around the corner. I am ready to STOP moving at 100 miles an hour and just rest and relax. One more week of teaching and then two weeks of holidays. In so many ways it seems like time is flying by; while, in other ways, it is moving sluggishly along. So, here are some of the things that I am looking forward to about the holidays.

1. sleeping in

2. having time to sew

3. baking

4. reading, reading, reading

5. surfing websites

6. reorganizing around the house

7. time with my hubby

8. watching Christmas classics while cuddled under cozy blankets on the sofa

9. singing Christmas carols

10. time with friends

11. remembering the happy times with my Dad

12. eggnog

13. time with my daughter

14. time in my studio to ponder new creations

15. decorating the Christmas trees - one at my house and one at my mum's!

So, there you have it. What are you looking forward to doing over the holidays? I'd love to know.

Fifteen words I like...

1. serendipity

2. obstreperous

3. fortitude

4. ornithological

5. perambulate

6. vociferous

7. pertinacious

8. yearning

9. diatribe

10. benevolence

11. illuminate

12. faithfulness

13. vitality

14. certitude

15. sanctimonious

Check out here for full definitions.

Today Sucked

There are no ifs, ands or buts about it. As days go, today ranks as -2 on a scale of 1 to 10. So, in honour of my crappy day, I am going to do my Friday Fifteen on 15 places I would rather be than here.

1. Mexico - I have wanted to spend a few days here by myself for ever!

2. Amelia Island

3. in a private car on this train

4. Gabriola Island

5. Nova Scotia

6. a weekend in La Connor, Washington

7. any cruise, anywhere - maybe here?

8. Australia! Australia! Australia!

9. where better than disneyland to escape reality?

10. this art retreat

11. somewhere like this

12. lying in a hot tub looking out at a view like this:

 
this was taken by this guy who has a lot of wonderful pics on flickr

13. a weekend of simplicity here

14. maybe a little mardi gras?

15. or, perhaps, in a little cabin in the woods.

Fifteen Songs That I Like

 

Haven't done this one before and got to have lots of fun finding all my faves on Youtube. Enjoy!

I am a HUGE India.Arie fan and listen to her every day. She fills up my soul and helps me to keep putting one foot in front of the other when I am feeling like curling up and hiding. These are a few of my must listen to songs of hers:

1. Video : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mq86e4Fhja0&feature=fvsr

2. I Am Not My Hair: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_5jIt0f5Z4&feature=channel

3. A Beautiful Day (I listen to this each day on the way to work): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvARxJoLirE

4. Little Things: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xZPMlCkDY8&feature=channel

5. Good Man (this one makes me think of my dad every time I hear it. He was the epitomy of a good man!): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWGXQRIJfAs

And now for some others that are not India.Arie. I must admit I could have done 15 of hers without any problem!

6. Dear Mr. President by Pink: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q56pHCGrlc4

7. Hammer and a Nail by Indigo Girls: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTI2GGNFR_U&feature=channel

8. Just Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Mc-onwVIBA

9. Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xSGLZd9Vg4

10. Fifteen by Taylor Swift (this one makes me think of my daughter): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pb-K2tXWK4w&feature=channel

11. You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuNIsY6JdUw&feature=related

12. What About Now? by Daughtry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqTzrUJNtyU

13. Waiting on the World to Change by John Mayer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBIxScJ5rlY&feature=related

14. Power of Two by Indigo Girls: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hj0yVN8pFNw

15. I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RV-Z1YwaOiw

So, there you go. Fifteen of the songs that make me smile and enjoy life just a little more than I did before listening to them.

 

Fifteen Things I Do Not Like

1. headaches

2. beets

3. parties where I don't know many people

4. being bookless

5. dogs that shed (at least I don't like them in my house shedding on my furniture!)

6. cooking

7. teaching p.e

8. being tired

9. wearing running shoes with jeans - Stacey & Clinton are SO right on this one!

10. talking on the phone

11. not being able to afford to do some of the things I would dearly love to do - someday....

12. running on sidewalks - the treadmill is my friend!

13. herbal tea

14. black coffee - I need my cream BIGTIME!!!!

15. cooked carrots

Whew...another fifteen thought of and written down for publishing. And, did you notice that I did this one two days early? Just trying to make up for all the late ones, I guess.

Growing Beautiful Things

We should not be embarrassed by our difficulties, only by our failure to grow anything beautiful from them.

- Alain de Botton

 

So, what beautiful things am I growing from all that I am going through with my Dad's passing away?

1. resilience

2. a large painting that evokes him for me

3. a quilt made from a mix of his t-shirts and my husband's t-shirts

4. piles and piles of photographs that I will one day turn into a book

5. a new kind of relationship with my daughter

 
6. patience

7. patience

8. patience

9. connections with people I had lost touch with over the years

10. a new kind of relationship with my brother

11. more time with my nieces

12. the beginnings of acceptance for certain people in my life

13. wisdom

14. a deeper appreciation for all that I have in the here and now

15. a renewed and stronger love for my husband

 

There is nothing simple or easy about grieving. It does not follow any set path or move in any orderly fashion towards a destination. It is twists and turns, anger and sorrow. It is the need to be alone battling with wanting to be held. This makes it all so much more difficult and, yet, so much more meaningful.

I know in my heart that my dad's death will teach me new things about myself and my life. I am open to all it will teach me and welcome the lessons. I will grow many, many beautiful things as a result of going through these difficulties. Thank you, Dad, for continuing to teach me in death as you did so well in life. I love you. 

Should Friday Fifteen turn into Saturday Sixteen?

 If it didn't require thinking of one more thing for the list, I just might do it! So, what to write about today? My brain is really dead these days. I am pretty much working by rote without putting much thought into anything. I suppose that is normal given that my dad has only been gone three weeks. My subconscious is still processing everything....very slowly.

So, today's list...hmmm...something that requires zero brain power.

Fifteen Pieces of Jewelery I Have Made - all this requires is posting photos! Yeah!

1. Buttons Galore bracelet detail

2. Caribbean Holiday necklace

 

3. Easter Gumballs and Allsorts necklace

 

4. Key to my Shining Heart necklace

 

5. Turquoise Hardware earrings

 

6. Love's Got The Blues earrings

 

7. Love's Got The Blues necklace

 

8. Oh So Charming! necklace

 

9. Matching Keys earrings

 
 

10. Ocean Cuff Watch

 

11. Love Assures necklace detail

 

12. Crantini bracelet

 

13. Cascading Green Seas necklace

 

14. A Black Tie Affair necklace

 

15. Green and Black bracelet

 

A Totally Random Friday Fifteen

 
I am not able to put together any sort of themed list this week. My brain seems to have gone on vacation now that my dad's memorial service is over and done with. So, it is a random list of whatever comes to mind. Watch out, it could get scary!

1. I am exhausted but not able to sleep.

2. Hugs from my daughter feel good.

3. I am very thankful to whoever invented public libraries.

4. Mahjong is not as hard as I thought. Or, I should say, computer Mahjong is not as hard as I thought.

5. I miss my hubby who is in Calgary for his 25th high school reunion.

6. What Not To Wear is coming back! Yeah!

7. Cadbury Mint bars are the absolute best.

8. I miss my Dad.

 

9. Tea fixes many things. Just not a need for sleep.

10. My dog has decided to stay at my Mum's house. Seriously, he wouldn't come home.

11. It is hard to think of anything to write when I am so tired.

12. A person could live a long time eating only canned soup.

13. I wonder if the Christian Brothers winery is actually run by Christian brothers?

14. Everyone should read Anne Morrow Lindbergh's Gift From the Sea at least once in their lifetime.

15. I am very glad that today's Friday Fifteen is finished. I hope that I am a little bit more clear headed next week when I go at it again.